Every time i'm here,

it means i've zoned out from studying.

and i dislike how i have such short concentration span when it comes to studying.

it was only after i flipped through all the pages i need to study for B&F at one go, i realised if i don't study enough now, i'll be dead studying by the day before the exam.

exams are going to be over very very soon, please study like mad now, i don't want to regret not putting in enough effort only after it's over with. sm, STUDY!!

We need to talk ;)

a random piece of artwork :D

 naaah, it's actually just really annoying when new highlighters are too inky! 

there'll be this blob of ink at the end of every line you highlight, and it just gets even more annoying when it's smeared over the page.

~ * ~

  my sister's favourite kitty cat behind the street. 

i have to admit, those EYES are irresistible!

~ * ~

it all started from a "let's talk about our inner feelings..." and two hours of my studying time got devoted to that talk with my younger sister. ♥ we should really continue with it after my exams:)

can't wait till the 8th.....

every time, without fail, there'll come this point where my mind wanders off thinking about the things i want to do after the exams...

i wish the times i panic come more often, or else i really don't think i can finish what i plan to finish.

please, stay focus.  

oh i don't know why but today's such a good day :D

not so much in terms of studying though, cause my progress is still a little slow. got to keep reminding myself there's really not much time left so i'll get scared and study faster!

but this morning itself the reply to a message i wrote to my brother last night made me laugh so much, and papa's reply to the both of us was so cute too! how can i not love them...

then i went online to check if there's anything new on elearn and started chatting with su ann she made me so high all of a sudden. can literally feel the high-ness in me throughout the conversation and i was a lot more awake after that :D

then went to study MA and out of no where i started thinking about qing xian, wondering when exactly will she leave for dubai and when does she stop teaching.... until suddenly i heard my phone ring while i was replying nabilah's msg, and at that moment i so didn't expect that msg to be from qing xian. who knows it was really her! so coincidental okay!

and this incident of thinking about someone and receiving the msg from the same person i'm thinking about didn't only happen just once today! it just just just happened again before i came to type this. this time i was thinking about huei-wen cause i was still waiting for her reply, and there came her reply! so so so happy for her and everything's just going the happy way today! :D


but but but, the time isn't slowing down so MUST NOT WASTE TIME! :D

Somewhere only we know

sometimes when i start thinking about the things that i know are going to happen in the future, i get quite scared.

every time i read on the case Donoghue v Stevenson, two things never fail to appear in my mind: 

#1 the image of the decomposed snail falling out of the bottle, saying "HARLO!", like how Mr Paul gestured it the other day. very very funny. i'm definitely going to miss his lectures! 

#2 the picture of Mrs Donoghue's face turning green after drinking the ginger beer with the decomposed snail floating in it for dunno-how-long! *pukes* this case is very very gross @@

a secret from doing a facebook quiz: i'm 40 years old on the inside! T_T i'm still thinking it's due to the favourite eye colour Q which i picked GREY *self comfort*

When you're feeling good,

everything around you becomes so much more livelier.

even my dreams follow to be insanely funny x)


study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study study :D

Time for some intense studying.

Business Law assignment, i'm glad it's finally done! fullstop. the final assignment for semester 3.

just arranged my crazily messy lectures notes, tutorial questions and other random pieces of papers which will somehow be useful into 5 files, one for each of these - business law, accounting information systems, management accounting, banking and finance, foundations of business.

and i'm so happy i now have two new highlighters to pep up my entire studying time, bought two extra blue pens for the exams too. now, all is left to be done, is to transfer everything i need to know into my brain, or even better, heart.

it's time to quarantine myself, four more weeks before i get my normal life back. good luck to all my friends too... we know we can do it.

Never take things for granted...

it is as if when i know that very something or someone will never ever leave me no matter what, i tend to be a little less careful with it, less careful than how i would have treated it if i knew it was something or someone i might lose.

a similar idea being expressed using different words or actions may seem very different altogether. choose the better way, it makes things a lot easier. :)

some people are just so positively charged, merely hearing from them can elevate my mood so so much! :D

there are times i think too much about certain things before it even happens, and when it really happens, it turns out to be different most of the time. i should quit that habit.

then there are also times i really intend to bring out something but fail miserably because others saw it the other way round; of course, times when i do not intend at all but was thought to have intended happens too. very very very rare though.


above all, my favourite moments are those when i feel happy, without really knowing why i feel so. when it's all coming from within, naturally.


(Y) If I Die Young, by The Band Perry.
a random song i heard my sister listening to, don't understand why it's given such a sad-case title. but i like it.

PHEW~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay i think i can be the happiest person for today!!!!!!!!! :D

it's not meeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

now there are actually a few really good things behind this whole scary email which terrified me for the entire night and i even forgot to bring my MA file today... eesh but neh mnd i is feeling really relief now!

so #1 i got to experience something similar to what huei-wen felt, and now i know how terrible that feeling is, my hands were actually shaking a little bit yesterday night :S will channel all my luck to you on friday! no worries k! :)

#2 results is so damn freaking frucking (inside joke with my sisters! i'm not vulgar okayyyy!) important to me!!!! not so much about having to re-sit or whatsoever, i think i'm just too afraid to disappoint my parents! seriously, for the whole yesterday night i've been thinking how bad it'll be if it was true and if i had to tell them the truth myself.

#3 i know the best reason to be blamed if i happened to not do well will be my problem of studying too last minute! and final exam's coming in about 18 days time! more than 2 but less than 3 weeks to go!! 

#4 thank youuuu for all the little things you did to cheer me up... it helped :)

bye library! :D

:/

oh no, i'm really really really really worried now. is it really not me? or is it really me? so what if it's really me? each time i read the email, i can feel my heart beating faster. this is really scary, somehow it is always true that talking about something is a lot easier than actually having to experience it. chill siew ming chill, think of the worst-case scenario. it's not thaaaaaat bad right? actually it's quite bad. not very bad but quite bad. all these sound so familiar suddenly! honestly those comforting words really made me feel much better but now everything's scary again.

here comes another situation where i wish tomorrow can come sooner. oh gosh >_<

There can be miracles, when you believe,

Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill,

Who knows what miracles you can achieve,

When you believe, somehow you will,

You will when you believe.

What's done, is done.

just like words that have been said, they can never be taken back. there will be times i regret doing certain things and wonder, if the same situation were to repeat itself, i wouldn't have treated it the same way i did. and things would probably continue to happen differently altogether. perhaps better. 

but in fact, everything in life only accumulates because they don't exactly get demolished like what many parts in Sunway's currently undergoing. speaking of which, i never knew what they did to LT5 until today when i went to the class right opposite it, NW-4-2. 

i have to admit it wasn't at all a pleasant sight, quite freeeeaky actually! with the sign board hanging from the ceiling swaying from one side to the other whenever the wind gushes through the corridor, then you hear that occasional drilling sound from another part of the building undergoing renovation...

it's all empty now! :0 btw, i can't wait for them to complete all the projects that have been planned for, please be faster so at least i get to use them before i leave. already quite excited to try out the new canopy walk that connects us to Sunway Pyramid x)

other than the attendance, which was kinda expected, committee installation today was pretty good. it was fun meeting all the different people, some are shy, some really outspoken, some very enthusiastic, some have interests and skills that are not corresponding which makes it harder for them to pick the one department that best fits them, some are probably still confused i cannot guess what's in his mind... well there was this guy who really really reminded me of Chee Hung! as in the way he responded to our questions. "so... any feedback? how do you feel about today's meeting?" "err, okay okay la... i think it's okay la.."  the typical chee hung style haha!

hmm and i think i need to find more confidence in myself when i speak. the core committee members are really easy-going though. "there's something wrong with the way i walk, the sole of my shoe became more haus on one side... what's haus called in English?" "thirsty!" "LOL" 

left at 6.30pm but only reached home an hour later, can't imagine how the working people endure the jam everyday when they're already so tired from one whole day of work.

if it's either you make or break... you're so gonna make it! :) 

Another friend turned 19..

had a simple belated birthday celebration for Bubu today, there wasn't really any plan since everyone's so caught up with assignments. other than the cake and presents we prepared, everything else was spontaneous. i hope the spontaneousness worked out as a new form of surprise :)

smile, it's free (quoting from eugene's dp)

through all the emo times and stressful periods, by the end of the day, the happy moments and those fond memories still prevail. and by now, i truly know that these people have officially been added to my list of people-i-can't-live-without. 

from how i first felt so alone in the entirely new college environment, to how i got to know them better and experience how the friendship bloom from there... every stage in this process means something to me. 

*

on a random note, my younger sister can sometimes be so annoying i feel like smacking her, but thankfully she's so lovable most of the time, every little thing she does seems so cute to me, i feel so the extremely blessed to have her as my sister, and also to be her elder sister.

Here's a conversation i want to remember:

*after wrapping eugene's present with colour papers, i ran out of proper wrapping paper :/*

sis: "the wrapper looks so plain, can i decorate it for you?"

me: "how?"

sis: "draw some patterns on it with crayon.."

me: "CRAYON? cannot!! you use highlighters okay la"

sis: "orh, i draw smileys.."

me: "okayy, but if you ruin it, who's fault is it? you wrap back the exact same thing for me ar"

sis: "your fault" 

*starts drawing the first smiley and i thought it looked pretty good*

*after she's done with the rows of smiley faces*

me: "ehh, quite nice wor"

sis: "can i add hair for them?"

me: "with what..?"

sis: "black marker.."

me: "yerr black colour so obvious, better not.."

sis: "why you deprive them of their rights to grow hair?"

me: "okay okay, let them grow hair la.." *seriously LOL!*

hence, the end-product xD

you're the best ©

A long day at Pyramid

yesterday almost my whole family except my brother followed me to pyramid since i'm going there for a meeting with the SIFE members and they haven't been there for a while already.

the meeting at McD started at 11am, now things are getting clearer. came out with a few rough drafts for the future projects, the number of subcommittees we need, the people to contact, rooms to be booked (didn't know the maintenance department of Sunway is so troublesome to deal with until i heard the stories from those who experienced the procedure), and also a few plans for the upcoming meetings. currently in need of more members! we can be way better than 50!


after that i rejoined my family for lunch at a Taiwanese restaurant, i'm not sure of the name.

© mommy & daddy :D

the menu

elder sister told us to imitate the owls behind xD

© sisters :)

okayy i know the dessert on the right looks very unappetizing! don't judge a dessert by its look xD for people who like peanut it's quite nice :)

dearest mom and cutest younger sis ©

table 11 - a very special number to my elder sis :)

later on, we continued to walk and shop around until around 8.30pm everyone's so tired already.

*

spent the rest of the night with qing xian and mosquitoes by the swimming pool :) then it started to drizzle a bit so we took along the stuff and moved, walked a few steps and the rain seemed to have stopped already, so we went back, and the drizzle came back shortly after that. but since the sheltered places were very dark, we just stayed at where we were with the occasional droplets of rain.

had a really good chat with her until 12am. and ohmygosh standard one and two kids are still soooooo adorable!! nothing is the same as that kind of 童真 they have.

*

what really is the dream i want to achieve in life?              hmm...

A sombre dream.

this is the second time a car park appears as the setting in my dream. and the dream was just equally way suckier! although it was all a dream, but everything that happened in the dream felt exactly like it's really happening. glad i actually told it out to the person who's involved in the dream, so as people say, after telling it out it won't happen :) dreams like this where people who are very important to me vanishes (don't feel like using the word :/) can be quite disturbing.

doubts doubts doubts, intention intention intention, considerations considerations considerations. 

Read it, twice.

i realised i'm always writing about yesterday when it's a little past 12am, i'll then change the date and time so that i can still write it as today when it's actually not today anymore. confusing but yeaa i think i'm doing it again today.

so today i spent my journey back home from uni looking out the car window, admiring the blue blue sky and the irregularly-shaped fluffy white clouds. and i find it breathtakingly beautiful! especially where the sun is shining and as the sunlight penetrates through the thick layer of clouds, it didn't even look like it belonged to the earth. totally gave me that so near yet so far feel~

once i reached home, i took a few pictures of the sky although it wasn't in its best state today. and unfortunately the sky i was looking at when i was in the car was much prettier than what i saw from my house.

the clouds are so big and puffy ~

as i was viewing the pictures from the computer, the shape of the clouds tempted me to add stick people on it :D seven of them lol.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 xD

*

woosh my younger sister's final exams are officially over! she can now leave the "study study study" team and play all she wants. nevermind, my holidays are coming real soon too. which also means there's not much time left to finals = should start doing revision already! 

*

just when i thought everything's settled and over with, new complications arise. really wish to have the ability to read people's minds! adding on to that is business law assignment. the sentences they use are so lack of fullstop, i have to read at least twice to understand what i'm reading. so the amount of time spent on researching would be times two the usual time. 

*

the happiest thing that happened today other than all the ching chong nip nong nong ngek ngek ngek has got to be the new friend request in facebook! i have tried searching for her, but to no avail cause she now has an english name i didn't know of. and this girl i'm talking about is my Standard One best friend! and i was only in the same class as her in standard one so we kinda totally lost contact with each other ever since. 

hence, i was REALLY happy straight away confirmed friend request! she sat next to me when we were in 1M and i still remember we used to always arrange our pencil cases side by side during classes, we put our bags between both of our chairs, then the pencil and eraser also has its own position, everything's just very organised x)

i can really call her a long-lost friend :)

*

i think this little beetle has lost its way home, and it's flying all around the place in my house now, gots ta be careful of beetle attack! 

i hope you can return to your family soon...

life is kinda confusing at the moment.

A sleepy day zzz

reached foyer at 10.15am today (out of 5 group meetings i think i'm only really punctual for 1, bad bad bad) but my eyes felt quite bengkak although i wasn't that sleepy. no i didn't cry last night also. and the stress level is really building up now, seriously quite a lot to study. still need to finish up business law assignment for now, then.... time to endure tough love. so many class replacements going on i need to always check my calender x) i think i was kinda quiet today, didn't feel good cause it just didn't feel right.

hmm... second SIFE meeting this coming friday, with one representative from SIFE Malaysia joining us. and before that i'm supposed to come out with what i'm expecting from my subcommittees, roughly how the marketing department is going to run and some ideas for the projects if i have any, must think think of some. one of the files attached in the email is this team handbook which i think will be quite useful... :) 

*

is it really easy to love without condition, to talk without intention, to give without reason and to care without expectation?