forever friends, not forever alone.

"We cannot measure friendship

in dollars, time or weight.

We cannot see it coming,

that part is left to fate.

But once we know

the blessings that come

with one good friend,

we know the joy and gladness

of friendship without end."

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥


enough said :)

I'm a B+ve :)

results for my blood test is finally out! was hoping that i could be an AB since my dad is one, but it didn't come true.

one evening when i was chatting with my brother over msn, trying to find a day where all six of us will be at home so we could go have a good father's day celebration... and i realised it's so difficult now to find that very day. 

i missed those times when i would go to bed the same time as my sisters then we would talk and laugh all the way until somehow my elder sis is always the one who falls asleep first. then my lil sis and i will naughtily wanna wake her up again by pushing her or tickling her or taking her blanket off her *evil thoughts...* 

nowadays i find myself being glued to the computer most of the time, when i'm home and not studying or what, i'll be facing the computer. there are times my younger sis would walk up to me and say "i know you don't like me already, always never listen to my stories." then i'll give her a hug and ask her if she's got any interesting stories to tell me. i know she's just saying. but sometimes i really think i used to be a better sister. 

how will our lives be like without a computer or a laptop? without all the complicated high-tech gadgets... 

western hypnotising?

all this while i thought if you wanna test for ONLY your blood type, the doctors will ONLY prick your finger for few drops of blood.

until today when i stepped into the doctor's room and saw all the scary looking needles and tubes on his table. i even told him to make sure that he knows i ONLY need to test for my blood type (because one of the LUSU forms requires that info), and he reassured me that yes, it's not just pricking finger.

i think he could somehow see that i was really scared so he told me to put both my arms on the table, and he put his palm slightly above mine and moved in circular motion. asked me if i felt the heat. yes. then he did something with my finger and asked if i felt numb. not really. then i was supposed to transfer that numbness to the part where he's going to inject the needle. he even pinched both sides of my arm and asked me if i felt less painful on one side. err, not really actually xD

at the end of everything he told me he did the western hypnotising with me so i won't feel so pain. i'm not sure if it's plain psychological effect or it really worked. but it wasn't as painful as i thought la. almost didn't feel anything. only until after i left the room, it began to get slightly painful. 

am actually proud that i finally did my first blood test ever in my life. from now onwards i shan't make any big reaction when people talk about blood test anymore. 

but uugh headache @@ could it be the effect of losing blood? haha. 

and it's overrrr! :D

it's like some blockage in the brain has just been removed for good! feels so much more alive now :D didn't expect the change to be so big, finally can have time to look at other stuff. been going through the same routine of reach home, on laptop, open journals, type type type...now i suddenly need to think of what i want to do. just really glad everything went well. even the errors that took away my sleep last night are now gone! doubly yippay:):)

okay shall leave the library now:)

ECO-SOAP tomorrow woohoo! :) 

can't believe it's gonna be over sooooon!

flipping through the hardcopy version of the research paper definitely felt very good. despite the error with the "error" symbol in the equation...still feels good. but eeeeks while doing the slides just realised some little mistakes. even when i was checking through this morning, my head felt like it was on a merry-go-round, didn't notice those errors at all.

very disappointed in myself for finishing my part so late that i couldn't really help with the other parts until last minute. you said it's okay, i feel there's something really wrong with myself. feel extremely sorry to my group members but can't seem to be able to tell them how sorry i really feel. never felt so pressured in any of the assignments before.

speaking of which, i think sometimes i'm too particular about certain things. an example would be to arrange all the stationery in one direction in my pencil case, weird habit i have since dunno when.

mygosh, VIVA tomorrow, dear panel pretty please be nice to us :) :)

good luck to all of us tomorrow!

research methods = instant depressant

felt so dead, still feeling dead now, shall not be feeling dead anymore tomorrow.

aaawhman nabilah's email almost made me tear. even when i was in the midst of dying for research methods.

and honestly, at one point just now i completely thought you were my sister sitting beside me. hope my sister's place made a cosy study spot for you huei-wen :):)

words spoken can never be taken back, i need to constantly remind myself not to be emo...no emo.. emo shoo..byee emo. i don't mind eLmo though! Cali!

sometimes i just really don't understand, so hard to grasp.. and the emotional side of me is slowly creeeping in.

hualala my sister thinks i've gone crazy xD

and that's exactly what me thinks too actually :P

no thanks to research methods. journals over journals, what makes it worse they're all so dull i feel like closing the pdf file the moment i open it. the pain in researching on a topic not of your interest. because really, research is all about the urge to FIND OUT about something you're dying to know. that gives you all the drive, inside out. but i'm here doing a research for the sake of my marks and viva. i'm actually looking forward to viva cause i guess it's gonna be more lively. and at least when i get nervous i won't feel sleepy like now x)

i would rather write an essay of five thousand words that doesn't require me to cite anyone or any journals (just saying!). hate citations. but no, i gotta love it <3

at such a depressing point of time, ah xian's message is totally making me feel recharged. aaah much love.

oookays, back to literature review! :) :) :)

sometimes it's really just the mindset playing the trick

Emo-ness doesn't help you to get things done.
Life is about what you can achieve in the future, not what you couldn't achieve in the past. Goals are set as a motivator (to keep you go on without giving up), not de-motivator (not to make you emo for not achieving it). Winners keep trying.
You know what you want and you know you can achieve it! Always believe in yourself. Get the picture? 

"It takes FAITH to start, but it takes PERSEVERANCE and DISCIPLINE to finish it" - quoted from Ken 


what a pleasant surprise. so many things running through my mind this entire day. and just one thing i discovered about myself - when i get unusually high, it doesn't mean i'm perfectly fine. it only means i'm in need of that split second of craziness to shadow over the frustration going on inside. 


okay shush, no more complaints, no more avoiding! *knock knock* whatever happened to the old nothing-in the-world-can-go-wrong you, siew ming? 

the change

from the previous days of talking about plans for my sister's birthday and also the coming father's day, mom & dad have been talking about alarms, locks and gates over dinner these two days. phobia much.


and i really can't wait till 23rd June.

feels so tired already. there's still so much to catch up with for FA because i am really lost with all the chapters other than those included in mid-term test. but all that can only come after research methods. terribly deprived of sleep.

prevention is better than cure

because it has happened and we're all fearful now. i came home this evening to find extra padlock loops on the door. it's like the door had just undergone a stage of mitosis..that it grew extra loops out of it o.O good job to the welding guys! mommy even made tea for them so sweet :)

assignments after assignments after assignments, now i would say an easy assignment topic doesn't make it a great one, sometimes it's the group members that matter most. same goes for a tough assignment, with group members that keep me motivated, it seems to be more of a challenge rather than mission impossible to me.

things to be done over the weekend:-
      1. literature review for mini thesis (by friday actually)
      2. sife photo & video contest
      3. poster for national competition
      4. if all the above go well >> SLEEP! :3

thank dr joyce so much for her willingness to spend time with us.

to realise what really means the most to us

was too stressed about business strategy yesterday, now here's something to explain the previous post.

i can't believe it...some FREAKING USELESS DUDES ransacked my house yesterday afternoon within the 40minutes my mom left house to drop me off at Uni until she came home again. home is where the heart is, don't they freaking know! they just freaking invaded our hearts like nobody's business! uuugh!! and they freaking threw everything everywhere! THE MESS was freaking insane! my shirt could fly across the entire hall to my parent's room, drawers removed, upside down! completely in a state i NEVER imagined my own house to be like.

THANK GOD they didn't do that to my study room, else i would have cursed them TEN TIMES MORE! THANK GOD i brought along my laptop to Uni! and the most most most most most important thing, THANK GOD MY YOUNGER SISTER WAS NOT AT HOME! and yesterday when we were all asking my mom if she's alright, she hugged my sister real tight and said, "reallyyyyyyy thank goodness you were not at home when they broke in, if anything happened to you i really don't know how to live anymore...." that chilly creepy feeling immediately ran down my spine. cause....IF THEY DID ANYTHING TO MY MOM OR SISTER, MY HEART AND BRAIN WOULD REALLY JUST DIE!

what's gone is gone. we just need some time to forget that we once had those things with us. but i feel so angry and sad for my mom. some of those things have such great sentimental value for her. and just before this she lost her most precious jacket my aunt gave her. my mom used to say with the jacket she feels as if my aunt's secretly watching over her although she's not around anymore. all these really make me admire how tough my mom is. i like the way she makes me feel better about the whole break-in incident. 

yesterday when my elder sister came and pick me up from uni, we were both so angry and i think we made each other even angrier that we started saying the most unpleasant words in the car all the way home. the more she told me about what's missing, what they did, and how messy our house became..there's like a volcano eruption going on inside us. until i spoke to my mom, she told me so many things that i really feel better now. my mom told me how she started to see things differently ever since my aunt passed away because of cancer. 

it is so weird, usually only until the moment we really lose something, we realise how much it actually means to us. now that i think back, i feel like laughing at my own silly questions. when my mom called me yesterday, the moment i heard someone broke into our house, there was a list of stuff that immediately appeared in my mind. i was soooo scared that they would take away Ador, my clothes, the desktop with all the pictures and memories inside!, and actually just any of my stuff. come to think of it, it's so LAMEEE -_- who would wanna risk their lives to take those stuff, in monetary terms they're almost worthless! BUT, to me, if those things went missing, i can EMO for an entire year, not kidding. i tend to grow very attached to things, even the thought of losing them is enough to make me sad. 

how i wish Ador could hop out of the cage and bite that bad guy's butt so hard that he can't walk! haih. then in the evening, the police came. they took pictures, tried to get fingerprints but failed, wrote a report out of my mom's description. they were really friendly though. then they warned us about how the burglars now don't look like one anymore. they drive BMW and Alphard, girls are involved too. with the police car in front of the house, the neighbours then came and showed their concerns. some were speaking to my mom, some with my dad, some my elder sister. everyone seemed worried. but what they said were really comforting to hear. 

later at night when my dad went to get new padlocks, the shop person actually told him starting from few days back, there were ppl from taman tun, kota damansara, and bu area all coming to buy locks from her because of break-in cases. such disgrace to our community, why don't those people have anything better in their mind? 

one day those bad guys should just all get one tight slap in the face and realise that they have been VERY WRONG and it's not too late to change and start doing something productive! THEY ARE WASTING LIVES DAMN IT! IF ONLY THERE'S A MACHINE TO TRANSFER THEIR LIVES TO THOSE WHO'RE SICK/DESERVE TO LIVE. 

and my paranoid level has just increased T_T why must they do this to me :(

there was a time when this "if you were given a wish, what would you wish for?" *rule: you can't wish for more wishes* question was really popular. and i used to have three different answers i couldn't decide on:-

1. for all the spiders in the world to vanish. (-_- okay, too lame!)
2. for everyone to have a fixed life span, like everyone will definitely live up to 100 yrs old. (i would still consider this..)
3. for everyone in the world to have a kind heart and will never be bad! (now i really want this! people are turning real evil why why why) 

enough for this post! i luuuuurve my family and happy birthday, dear sis ♥ promise that you'll get a belated birthday treat. :) 

finally, RESEARCH METHODSSSS! 

when actions speak louder than words

such a bad bad day yesterday.




just. baaad.

if it was not for strategy assignment, my thoughts would still be scattered all over. like a bad pp or qq-plot. !@#$%^&*

and now for tweety bird

i couldn't have imagined myself joining twitter in any way odder than this. so here's what you get from a blend of the SPSS-filled research methods lecture with a BB in hand! data plan of RM2.50 per day, i really thought i was doing good making worth out of every single cent paid. but ah well, it's not as if the owner isn't already making it worth the price paid. i know, you know, practically everyone in BAF knows about the BB boy.

BIGGEST mistake was when i started to find it more and more interesting *especially when i wasn't even tweeting with my name* i felt so freeee i could say the strangest thing ever (like..to eat up everyone in the audi just cause my best buddy was feeling hungry xD) and still, nobody would have a clue (okay, not really -_-).

everything was very much fun... until suddenly i didn't even know how i was seeing my own face in a twitter page! LOL. totally proves the point that when you're really determined to get something done, nothing is impossible. with the password mingming1234 (not anymore!), i am now boarding the tweet-tweet train. to top up the auspiciousness, a deal was made with su ann to tweet together v^^v

though my tweet count is still nothing, i somehow personally find myself feeling more at ease to express whatever is inside of me in the tweetland when compared to facebook. prolly because it feels more like a secluded sanctuary, less exposed in a way.

woots to twitter bridging bonds of people from the past and present xD i've always heard of them, saw them in facebook but never once met them in person. definitely didn't expect myself to be tweeting away with them.

i now have this strong urge to drag huei-wen into twitter but it's such a sinful thing to indulge in. shall let her decide! :) and ohhhhh tse wei is finally back! counting down to the number of days left till pei ying and alina fly home :) :) and so many moreeee, it's like the rightest time to have reunions. summerrrrrr! :D


so how's life...?

ASSIGNMENTS! 

despite how much i dislike replying people with that one freaking big word, that's what i'd been saying for the past i-dunno-how-many-weeks. assignments are fine alone actually, the unmet goals are killing me softly. it makes me question my own ability and capability and whatever core competencies??? *a lil strategy overdosed!* promises made, promises not fulfilled evolved into empty-promises. i myself hate that! people hate it too i know.


time to review my strategic intent! heh, don't worry i'm still sane :)

How much have we changed?

all the outings to meet up with them secondary mates lining up, i can't believe how we're all so busy now that we're left with hardly any quality time for each other. and i actually can't even recall when i last had a proper heart-to-heart chat with some of them. i'm sooo glad huei-wen dropped by the other day, just because now the free time we have for each other is as precious as gold as precious as the theses in the library where only Acca students who're taking OBU get to loan them! pfft! but yes, seriously, we now have our own little big dreams we wanna achieve...and to even bring ourselves closer to that very end, we've got to make sure we do. well. now.

everyone's so freaking stressed up chasing dreams. at least i am, and i know huei-wen is too. but we can do this alright *how many times have we been telling ourselves this x)* sometimes, maybe it's not even much of a choice, we're already in it, what more can we do? we just gotta get it done. nicely.

then in Uni when i see some of my friends looking real tensed, i feel tensed also. tense moment much! there are times my mind wander off.. i kinda enjoy reminiscing the stuff we used to do together, feel passionate about, laugh at together, the things we have in common. but now this feeling that all those are gonna fade away, one day, is slowly creeping in and it's actually...quite a scary thought. not that i'm not happy with whatever's going on now, i just miss those old times. yeap, exactly those two words, "old times". they make me wanna smile :)

maybe it's the simplicity back then, maybe it's the different me back then, maybe..it's just maybe.

-this is not an emo post!

from 69 to 5 ;)

questionnaires are almost done!

5 more left hehe. it was interesting to see how people reacted differently to that sheet of paper.

there was this girl who was studying but i still tried asking her, and she gave me the O_O eyes while shaking her hands vigorously. understandable though, acca's one scary exam (well, at least that's what the acca people make me believe).

then there were some who seemed reluctant but would still do it for you.

and the best has got to be those who happily take it from you and willingly do it, they motivate me in a way. some of them looked so happy, and some seemed like they really wanna do it, too bad they're not business students. some told me they were not business students, in my heart i secretly think they're lying to me *shouldn't be thinking so i know! they ARE engineering students la face the fact* then there was this girl who took it sooo seriously as if she was sitting for a test, she even walked to and fro to ask her friends about the questions. thank these people so muchhh!

and i feel so blessed to have friends who are from other groups yet offer to help us with giving out questionnaires.

after this whole questionnaire thing, i now have a bigger heart to help with others' questionnaires. it's really not easy peasy! more stressssss to come with the statistics and report.......


for everything that is done, there is always a reason behind it. i'm really learning to not be grumpy over what's done, why not think of what can be done to make things better instead? :)

*

just saw something wayyyyyy to coincidental! o_o haha sometimes when it gets so coincidental, it keeps me wondering if it's trying to convey a hidden message hmm...

69 more to go, woohoo

research methods is really worrying. being the only subject that requires no exams, i thought it would be really cool. but the questionnaires, the spss, the report..the presentation... aint that easy after all.

and i'm so tempted by all the holiday plans, for once everyone has got the same free time. which is really something that only happens once in a blue moon especially now because everyone is all over the world. omgosh la why am i the only one who's still stuck with exams in July :(


today's been another pretty good day. *but it only applies when i'm not thinking about assignments* when i free my mind from assignments i feel like the most carefree person ever, i can be the lamest person swinging my sister's hand away and she's the best cause she never hates me for that. and we just realised something, the age gap between my brother and me is so big, we fancy different stuff, it's like we're from different generations Lol. but he can be more childish than us when he wants to. so, yeah :D

oh, we witnessed a scary scene at Tesco today! when my parents were paying at the cashier, we saw this malay lady who's really obese at the cashier beside ours. and all she did was to sit and order her maid o.o she bought like three whole trolley worth of stuff and she just sat there and did nothing other than pointing and ordering her maid. yea tesco's following the self-service system so the maid had to pack everythinggg into three trolleys. then she continued to sit there, her maid had to walk over to her, take the credit card from her and pass it to the cashier. when the bill's out, her maid had to bring it to her so she could sign. o.o and then we don't know what happened after that.....such a tough maid.


if you go to the curve often, you'll know about this grand piano they have in the middle of the mall, and they have really pro people to play on it..today when we walked pass, this guy was playing '你不知道的事' by lee hom..too epic! he played it with so much emotion ♥♥♥

of 'the sunniers' aka 'funniers' aka 'sinniers' aka 'winniers'...

haha and no we're not that creative with names, other than 'the sunniers', the rest were all by our beloved mr. tan. each time he comes across our team name he sees it as a different thing. he's just so funny la though it wasn't most comforting when we spoke to him. what's with "usually being the first group isn't a good thing..." well, before we actually lucky draw to be the first team, we were all against being first too! like nooo it's gonna be so scary to be up first. 

with hui yii's magic fingers, we actually really got number ONE! theee moment was so unbelievable..seriously, it felt as if the whole world stopped spinning for a second when we saw the "1" on our paper. guess it's all fated! and so the only choice we're left with was to embrace the fact that we'll be the first team to present. i think we did pretty well on that bit.

other than that, this whole thing is so amazing. not because we've an advantage being the only team with experience whatsoever, it's those little surprises along the way that made it amazing. how we motivated each other into everything, how we didn't mind each others' comments...i really like the way we remained optimistic  the entire time. who knew candy and hui yii were a natural pair when it comes to calculating figures for the financial statement.. and candy who came back with a packet of woods' peppermint lozenges for me cause she heard me coughing...celine who never fails to keep us feeling all hyped up...hui yii who makes everything feels very comfortable and she's really cute:)

afterall, i realised the cash prize didn't leave as big an impact on me in comparison to this very special feeling that kept me smiling for the day. it's just...magical :)

point #1: never ever assume that your audience have the slightest clue of what you're about to present. and point #2: sometimes it's just really how much you yourself believe in what you're saying that determines how much others are convinced by what you've said.

*

other half of the day was well spent with 'chair' and mummy at pyramid. finally tried chatime! i know right, after so long, it's worth trying though..love the milk tea one. but the queue was really crazy and i felt as if i was making passport all over again, with the numbers running. had dinner at pasta zanmai and it was scary how the couple sitting next to our table didn't speak a single word throughout their dinner o.O while the other couple next to their table was talking soo much, such a contrast. had a haircut. not fun walking into the metal shutter of a shop, how could i be so blind xD

"So hold on to me tight, hold on, i promise it'll be alright

'cause we are stronger here together than we could ever be alone

just hold on to me, don't you ever let me go

hold on to me, it's gonna be alright, hold on to me tonight

They always say we were the lucky ones"

niceee song! :p

there are things which are perfect just the way they are

just the other day when i was 'disturbing' Ador in the garden i saw this very round droplet of water on one of the flower petals and wanted to take a picture of it. but the sad thing is it wasn't exactly at a perfect spot for taking picture so i tried to gather some water at my finger tip hoping that i could let it drip and form a similar water droplet. to my disappointment, none of them would turn out as round as as nice as the one i saw. 

so i gave up and just took a picture of the original one.

there are people around me who are like the droplet of water, perfect just the way they are. and i cannot appreciate more how they have helped and tolerated my sometimes sucky behaviour.

these are words i don't tell them straight in their faces but i really really mean it.

just feeling very appreciative all of a sudden. when i'm actually halfway through company law assignment -.-

okay,bye scribbles,back to assignment!:)