Some things never change.

The way my heart silently follows to smile when I see you smile;


The way I get most worried if anything ever happens to you;


The way I look forward to your messages;


The way I love sharing every little thing in my life with you;


The way I miss you every night before going to bed.




I am happy I fell in love with someone I truly love.

everything can feel like it's probable, as if you know how it's going to work out. we actually have no idea what's going to happen the next day, or even the next minute.


i therefore choose to appreciate what i've got at this moment. no clue what's going to happen when we finally talk about it, will things turn out fine?


i can only keep on holding onto the belief that what's meant to be, will be...

- i have faith in us.

"I love you can mean complete vulnerability. Maybe not right away but eventually you’ll begin to rely on this person. You’ll call for them when you’re sick and you’ll cry on them when someone dies and you’ll rely on them when exhaustion takes its toll. You’re dangerously close to becoming accustomed to their presence so the threat of their indefinite absence becomes overwhelming. It’s not that you couldn’t live without them. You could. You’ll just know that if it ever came to it, you wouldn’t want to. And that want can paralyze you if it isn’t reciprocated."

- with all that it takes, i still choose to love you. 

Where there's a will, there's a way. If one really wants to do something, one can.


I can do this *kickkickpunchpunch*






One way or another, life still has to go on... Make the most out of it.

for tonight, please allow me to cry. i am really not as strong as i think i am.

gotta give myself some time and think about what I really want to do with life. somehow it just doesn't feel right without any planning. if I'm not doing anything about it, I foresee myself stuck right where I am now for another two years plus. what am I going to get out of this? what do I really want to do with life?

Appreciation.

Halfway working and flashbacks of what happened today can't help making me feel like a happy kid, genuinely happy from the heart. The way you helped me look for a plug in the library cus my phone was dying and you knew i needed to reply messages, how you took my bag from my lap cus you thought it wasn't too comfortable for me to eat with a bag on my lap, how you didn't mind taking a longer way home cus i haven't seen the new Deloitte building yet, and when you drop me home you would always wait for me to open the door and enter the house before you leave... your thoughtfulness is really, very charming.

Dilemma.

If this is a choice i already made, but realised i'm not really enjoying it. Then, should i endure and embrace it? or explore a new path that is filled with more uncertainties?

For now, i think i will just do my best for these four years and try my best to complete my professional papers. Yes, give myself four years. No options are going to be guaranteed perfect. Along with every decision made, will be its pros and cons. I will focus on the positives i'm seeing in my current option, and magnify them. The people i've met, the time management i've learned, the many different types of personalities i've to deal with, etc...

In time to come, i will bring all these valuable experience with me, to do something i truly enjoy doing one day. Something that will allow me to fully utilise my strengths.



These days i've been feeling extra extra appreciative, of everything and everyone around me. I see how my grandma is fighting strong to get well, how a lot of other patients in the hospital want to be well but are unwell. And how a lot of us are just so lucky to be healthy and able to work. We should not complain about work, we should not hate the people around us. Hate will only create anger and even more hatred. Always put ourselves in another person's shoes before we act.

I just really really really hope grandma will get well soon and be relieved of the pain she is going through. She is such a selfless woman, always so caring and thoughtful of everyone around her, before herself. So cute for her age, and just a really nice lady. I wish we can celebrate another chinese new year together. i believe we will be able to!! :) *stay positive!*

Above all, i also secretly want to thank this special person in my life for always being there for me and to cheer me up. You've added lots of happiness to my life, and i sure hope i've brought you happiness too:)

Twenty fourteen now.

This life we only get to live once, is like an adventure out in the wild. We do not know exactly what is coming up, but at every crossroad we get to make a choice. A choice which would then indirectly determine the kind of journey we wish to travel.

Just the other day my younger sister mentioned to me she's keeping a diary and i thought hey, why not. And then i remembered my long abandoned scribbling space here :)

2013 has definitely been filled with lots of ups and downs and it felt like a big roller coaster ride. Many things have changed since then. Now, i am just really eager to find out how 2014's going to turn out to be.

Can't wait till chinese new year cus i finally get a break to go back to hometown and visit wai po. One more working day! jia you siew ming :D