What are you really looking for?

today at Taylor's lakeside before the rain decided to invade us, our booth was right outside the hall, facing this big piece of clear light blue sky. i couldn't help looking at it for a very very long time.

staring blankly into the sky as the wind continued to blow into my face, you are the first thing that came to my mind. honestly, i have never thought of you any lesser as compared to before, except from a new perspective. it's funny how people change, how things change, so easily. it sucks to find yourself strongly believing in something like you've never did before, and the next day you realised things are not the same anymore. you need to convince yourself not to believe anymore even if you secretly still do. you're eager to find out what went wrong, hoping you could fix it even if you know it's hopeless. you need to find a recycle bin to trash all the most genuine feelings you ever gave out. while doing all these, you're also supposed to stop thinking about it. so whatever happens, happens. even if you really feel like saying/doing some of the things, you hold it all back. 

but what am i really looking for? where do i wish to find myself by the end of the day?

misery aside, spent a really great day trying out many new things for the first time...

#1 drove all alone for the first time! felt like a big part was missing without my sleepy sister in the car! and then parking at a place i've never been to before. couldn't explain how lost i felt, but my mind was already processing who i should call if anything happened.

#2 played with the inflatable rock climbing thingy and also the velcro sticky wall thingy for the first time. though both of them turned out epic fail. we laughed at each other so much till we had stomachaches. good try though! right hand aching now Lol.

#3 was unlucky twice that i got chocolates twice instead of a thumbdriveeee. but it was a worthwhile experience getting to talk with a big mic in front of a big camera. what's great about it was the topic we were supposed to talk about - your parents. first time in my life, in front of strangers, i spoke from the bottom of my heart about how amazing my parents are and how much i love them. :) 

#4 went for the "Anyone Can Model" photo shoot and won myself a goody bag woots. i lurved it how we were all so sporting to try, usually everyone would just shy away and not even give it a try.  

#5 bonded with classmates whom i wasn't close to. it's that very nice feeling to find yourself so comfortably talking to someone you rarely speak to, just to discover another very nice person. 

all in all, i really enjoyed that idea of trying out new things. even though you might not be able to do it well, we only get to live once, not even a single day or moment is going to repeat itself. so whatever la, while we can do it, DO IT! always love exploring new things!

it's time to put my time management skills to test. seriously.