There You'll Be

It really terrifies me sometimes to think about how time flies. it's funny how i vaguely remember making this promise to myself, for me to work hard and try my best this semester... and then before i even realised i wasn't working hard enough, the exams were here already, and that's pretty much how the semester ended. just like that. but again it can be quite amazing how so many things can happen or change within such a short period of time...whether it's for the better or not. things never really stay the same.

after what i would consider the shortest semester break ever (which lasted for merely two days! over the weekend to be precise), came ze internship i was looking forward to. looking forward to a good experience of how working life is going to be like, meeting new people and learning new stuff we'll never be able to learn from textbooks... other than that, i am actually very reluctant to be away from Uni for threeee months. it can seem so short yet so long at the same time -_- ironic much.


SO how has internship been so far?

coming into the end of the second week of internship, i wouldn't say i'm loving it very much... like i don't get the superrrrr yippaaaaay feeling about work and i pretty much don't feel the ooohm to open my eyes and get out of bed every morning. kinda sad that it's going this way, i was supposed to be looking forward to it and enjoying it a lot. on one side i'm telling myself maybe it's too early to even judge, so KEEP GOING! at the end of the day i might be the first person to say YAY when it comes to auditing; then there's this other part in me that keeps getting bigger as days pass, this little voice that speaks ohno. is this REALLY what i enjoy doing? what happens if i stay in an audit firm for two years after graduating? is it going to do a lot of good in the future? two years ain't short. especially with all the "appreciate every single day" thingies. will i be dreading the days if i were to spend two years doing something i don't quite enjoy? what are the alternatives? are they going to be good as well? aaah man what to doooo?! well, that's the number one thing bothering me after two weeks of my life in Audit P.

that aside, i've also learned not to be too proud of myself as a VACATION TRAINEE :P Lol the other day when my seniors were exchanging name cards with the client, he automatically turned to me expecting me to give him my name card too (aiya...should have given him my SIFE name card heh jk! so many moreeee what am i going to do with them hm..). and so very automatically, i replied with a "I'm sorry i don't have one cause i'm only a vacation trainee". then as we were leaving the place my senior gently nudged me and reminded me not to tell that i'm a trainee. reason being, they might give me special treatment and not want to layan me when i ask for documents. so i can be called NEW, but never a TRAINEE! weee~

number 3! it can really be quite a challenging task to make the most out of doing NOTHING but watch the clock ticks. there were days when my senior and i felt so helpless not knowing what to do cause it takes so much effort to retrieve that one little file. and without the file, there's nothing we could do. so i ended up reading "today's headlines"... i was really reading at first, then i couldn't help to be carried away by what's happening in the surrounding. ended up eavesdropping and trying to see if the people around me are actually enjoying their jobs. but i heard people SIGH, and i heard one guy say "I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO AH!". hehe how encouraging! then i went on reading the managing partner's blog which was pretty interesting to see how the employees commented on his posts. hm...here's one of the comments that caught my attention~

pretty awesome :) friendships developed in school life are just priceless...

Can we really be the same in office and in school?
Perhaps we can see each other without differences back in the school days because we have common goals which are to study well, play well and succeed well in our examinations. We used to help each other with home works, revision and even to the extent to understand each other differences. More than that, a friendship developed which could even last a life time. We were just more than a schoolmate or classmate but true friend and true team mate.


Not forgetting our beloved teachers who have the sincere passion and will to actually guide and teach us.


However, can we really have these traits back in the office? Do we have these common goals or do we really work as a true friend and true team mate? Do we really sincerely help each other and guide each other for the common good?


Just for your reflection on what is actually happening in the working world due to the intense competition and selfish cultures that we have built on all these years...People used to believe it's a dogs eat dogs world out there but nowadays, people is actually applying it because belief will lead to action and subsequently leads to "it's a right thing to do"

at times when there's really nothing to do, i stone quite a lot too. and when i stone my mind just happily wanders off thinking about everything, the past present and future. thinking about the people i miss so badly~

LAST one before this post gets too long. working adults can be very young at heart too! the other day when we were having lunch (seafood at Port Klang!) with four of the clients, two of them who are already looking soooo matured, actually took out their canggih touch screen phones and snap snap pictures of their drinks! LOL cause three of them happened to order watermelon juice, some yellow juice, and this green juice! so they happily arranged the cups in the order of the traffic light's colour and got very excited over it. hehe what i thought only childish kid like me would do, but no, they're doing it too! ^^v

that's about it! and of course a lot more on how boring audit terms i've read about from the textbook magically come to life when we really have to apply it. application is really a different thing altogether.


O_O second last day of Year 2011?!?! *rubs eyes checks calender again*

just because

action speaks louder than words.

we'll never know...

will we? some things are just so impossible to guess. hoping to have more time each day.... feels like there're so many things to do but so little time to possibly squeeze all of them into the schedule. how i wish you could tell what's on my mind... then maybe i'd be able to tell what's on yours too.

i don't know....

high high!

"Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget." - green balloon

and some people are just irreplaceable like that. :)

many happies cause.....

nay, no need reason to be happy hee :P

are we still good?

something somewhere just doesn't feel right

this time around i'm completely clueless what went wrong

maybe i'm wrong somewhere sometimes

i would really accept it if you're willing to tell me

perhaps there is something that can be done?

or am i just thinking too much?

hmm i really don't quite know

don't want to be thinking too much either

but i can't seem to get it off my mind since exams started

or maybe even before that

each time i try to treat it as if everything's still fine

i find my heart aching more

and i wonder how you feel

just want everything to be good again.
or maybe to you this is nothing at all
then it goes back to me thinking too much

some of the things are pretty obvious

but they're equally subtle at the same time

so i end up not knowing how to feel

olrights, back to audit.
very sad actually :'( 

How do i say this...

so overwhelmed by the feelings in me,

i actually feel them so much more than i seem to be able to put them into words,

when it all happened so unexpectedly...

i vividly remember how i couldn't believe my ears for the first time,

how my mind literally went blank halfway through a phone conversation,

how i felt like my feet weren't touching the ground anymore,

how those words continued to play in my mind for a long time for the rest of the day,

...and it all happened on that very day.

the day that also signifies the start of this something special in my life,

i've always thought of it as something really, really precious,

and therefore not anything that would come by easily,

so i told myself if it ever did,

i'm going to appreciate it with all my heart,

now that it is really happening to me,

i realised i didn't even have to remind myself to appreciate it,

the feeling just grows from within,

very naturally.

thank you for these 31 little yet amazing days,

this one special month,

will always remain this special.

every nothing, is a something in disguise.