Monday, September 5, 2011

Running out of happy thoughts.


when i opened this strip of paper before i went to bed early this morning, i thought to myself that today's gonna be a good day.


comp lab looked so different this morning compared to the last time i was there. so packed with people. then i bumped into yee wei who wanted to print her tax notes too so we printed it together. and she asked, "siewming, have you applied for your continuing scholarship?" that question really stunned me for a while. until after i recollected my scattered thoughts, i told her frankly that i'm not even confident that i can make it. but i'll try.


i really really really x101 hope that it is still possible. so many assignments this semester, the grouping matter itself is already causing enough trouble. as if we can balance the group members like how we balance our accounts right. and i remember reading it so clearly didn't you see it? i would have been able to accept everything in a much better way if it was brought up before i had the extra time to start imagining how we would make a great combination in completing those two assignments, especially IM T_T can we really do it with a missing member? and at a lot of points i felt i was being really sucky, so selfish and annoying only thinking about securing my scholarship. but it's not as simple as just a scholarship. it's somehow evolved into this little promise i really want to keep so that i can have the confidence i've always given my parents again. omgosh it's so terrible i never want another D ever again T_T just can't help but to feel worried. at least we're finally settled with all the groups. enough chaos caused. although i still can't read through your mind, but i feel it must have been a really tough decision for you to make. those words you said in front of that money eating machine today, they were so good to hear, really. 


already enough negativity for today....but on the way home, mom and i got stuck in the most terrible jam ever. like the car was literally stationary at around taman megah. only police truck/cars/bikes zooming past the insanely long line of cars. we were both so curious what happened, until we could finally see some police bikes, then the truck, followed by a couple of police cars and a group of guys standing by the road side with their hands on top of their heads, like they were under arrest. and there was the black sheet covering a guy who was lying on the floor that is stained red with blood. OMGOSH T_________T i do not know what happened. but i felt all uneasy after seeing it x_x


tell me how am i to think happy thoughts? :(

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