i miss the sky in Lancaster.

i really still do. today when we were on the way to peppercorn after badminton i tried looking out the car window for some beautiful sky, and it just reminded me again that the sky here isn't that interesting to look at. now i'm really curious if the sky here once looked as amazing as the one in Lancaster? after all it's the same mother earth we're in right. whatever happened.

it's been four days into semester six now, tomorrow will be the fifth. the first week is not even over and there are already so many things going on. at one point i would feel so selfish when all i can see is to get good grades because i dyingly need it for this semester. other time, i would tell myself that getting good grades doesn't mean i need to be selfish, there are better ways to work things out. after a long time of pondering over those thoughts, i still couldn't seem to get a clear conclusion. what you're telling me is one thing, what you'll really do is another. what i speak of sincerely is one thing, what i really want is another. what i expect is one thing, what actually happens will be another. just simply don't want to betray my own feelings.

some things started off so well, you get so attached to it you don't even feel like leaving it behind. but what if you have no choice but to put it aside because there is something else which is of higher priority? some people don't even bother about how we feel, then why do we even care in return? sometimes there are things we know very well, but it instantly becomes impossible when we need to voice it out.

the other day when we were in the car daddy was asking me how i want to celebrate my birthday? in my heart i felt like telling him i don't deserve one. i don't know when i can completely walk out of the shadow of that awful D :( 

*gonna keep this here ♥ thank you for being the awesome one in my life huei-wen :') all the time.