honestly, i've been dreaming to go for the Nationals ever since the day i bid goodbye to everyone at the Regional Training. if you ask me, yes i do miss some of them, especially some whom i vividly remember the face and what we did together, just not the name so i can't possibly search for them on Facebook, so i was really hoping to like bump into them again at the Nationals, then at least i get to ask for their names or something. sigh.
i thought i could finally be at peace after making this, i consider, a big decision to join the Lancaster summer programme. sigh. i wouldn't say it's a wrong decision though. i mean no decisions can be wrong because how will we know if we don't try? but i've a feeling i'll be thinking a lot about the what's going on at the Nationals, when's our turn to present, what kinda questions are the judges gonna ask, who's gonna be there, will people like the projects we've done so far, do other teams still have canggih powerpoint slides with canggih music??? i won't get to witness all these anymore, double sad face :( :(
yes there's the World Cup, but it's going to be different :( :( and yes, there'll be another Nationals next year, but it wouldn't feel the same without this very team i've gotten so close with. talking about decisions, sometimes i really count joining Sife one of the blessings to me, in many ways. so yeah, all the more the thought that i won't be able to make it to this year's Nationals is making me feel sad. aihh.
someone actually told me this "one door closes, another one opens up", guess i'm going to make myself happy with that for now. and i'm surprised you could tell something wasn't right about me though i thought i sounded perfectly normal.
too many things going on lately, i've been having dreams that are too real, it's almost like a continuation of the things that appear in my mind right before i fell asleep. and sometimes they keep me thinking after i wake up. uncertainties, weird feelings, all sorts.
to end the post, i hope gorgor's "baby" is on a speed recovery. scary much, especially just after rachel and hui ling spoke about how their friends broke their shoulder and arm. i thank everything in the world that you're fine.
i admit i'm a sucker for melancholic movies cause i surprise myself by how much they make me tear. My Sister's Keeper is one :'/
1 comment:
awww siewming you're doing so many big mature stuff now! im proud of you :) though i dont really know what those actually mean hahaha. but im going to pretend i know x)
you know its true that when you dream about something, it actually means that the thing has a quite an impact on you? but its okay, if its just bits and pieces of what you worry everyday, YOU'RE GOING TO BE FINE. because the siewming that i know can handle ANYTHING! and i know you can do it. i really know you can! :)
all these experiences just will make us stronger, dont you think so? say 5 years ago in secondary school, we wouldnt even be thinking like that :) and its good, because it means we're learning, and gaining something. its all for the better! muacks!
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