when everything's all mixed up.

so... there goes another year of a 365 days.

coming to this last day of such a special year, all the different feelings of what has happened and what was supposed to happen but did not are pouring in at once.

i would call this a special year because it was the first time in my life i got separated from my closest friends, in a conscious state. the transition from kindergarten to primary, or that of primary to secondary were never that big an impact to me.

while leaving high school, and going on our separate ways really wasn't too easy for me. probably because i was too used to seeing them 5 days in a week, back in the same classroom, at the same seats, doing the same routine.

why is it so easy to get used to doing certain things, but never as easy to withdraw ourselves from it? i even remembered how i ended up in tears when i called huei-wen on the orientation day itself at college. that was funny, but it definitely made me feel better.

then i eventually got used to my life as a pre-u student, and slowly found a group of friends whom i feel comfortable with... started to enjoy myself more at college as i got even closer to them. by spending more time together, doing various tasks together, i got to understand each of them better, knowing what's different and what's nice about each of them.

well, i'm truly glad i've met them and i too hope i've played my part well enough as a friend to them.

since most of us have moved on to different colleges, gatherings became something i longed for. any outings, or short catch up sessions were equally meaningful. as people always say, it's only when you lose something, you understand its true value. i agree.

i kinda think a big part of my life revolves around my friends. cause i guess besides family, they're the ones i care most. both family & friends, being the ones who would affect my emotions.

sometimes, it's hard to believe that i'm 18 already. i've always thought 18 was an age where i would be matured in every sense, knowing very well about these and that. which is pretty not right, there are so much more for me to learn to better myself.

a new year means a new beginning? basically it just marks another year of our lives. whether or not it would be a whole new beginning, it's still all up to us. not merely a new year resolution but enough determination to fulfil those promises we've made to ourselves.

2010 will be a better year ahead for me, you and everyone else...

-

♥

-