when all in my mind was only expecting the worst, thinking that i would be happy already even if i could pass with 40, the C i saw in my results today didn't give me the same feeling it did seven years back.
always expecting for the worst is definitely NOT something i want to live with all my life, not this way to make myself feel better.
couple of semesters back when i had my first ever 40 marks in my study life, everything just suddenly looked so grey, nothing could even make me feel better, just thinking about the D i didn't know how to face my parents. then this friend came telling me i've done my best already. which was something really comforting to hear.
so i guess it's just really important for us to know that we're always giving our best in everything we do. yes, it's true that we could have done better, but we did what we could as of that time already. there might be certain things that we could have sacrificed to achieve a better outcome, but those sacrifices would then deprive ourselves from those experience.
i know if i chose not to be so involved in co-curricular activities, i might have done better. might, cause it's not for sure. BUT if you let me choose again, i'll still do the same. the exposure i got from the extra activities which took up quite a big part of my time was something i would never want to exchange anything for. they're a part worth remembering in my Uni days.
that semester when i told myself i HAD to maintain my first class, i HAD to at least score xx marks to maintain my first class. i felt the pressure going on more than any other thing. i missed out things that i would have enjoyed doing if i wasn't so fixed on scoring good grades. and the funny thing is, that kind of pressure didn't produce the best results.
after all these years of heart attack moments checking results, i realised results are starting to matter lesser and lesser to me. not that i'm not up to strive for the best anymore, but i know i've done the best i could already. with no regrets.
whatever it may be, i'll just have to carry with me the achievements i've made so far and create more wonders with them in the future chapters of my life.
in everything we do, just give it our best and embrace the outcome by making the most out of it.
