Saturday, August 20, 2011
worse than a nightmare because it's for real.
to expect it being bad is one thing, to actually see how bad it really is..is a different thing. still traumatised since i logged out of izone yesterday morning :'( feeling so lost now, one side of me is telling myself that it's all gonna be okay if i work extra hard for the coming semester; the other side of me is blaming myself so much for not working hard enough last sem and seriously doubting whether it's even possible to still maintain 70% or not. this terrible feeling makes me feel like digging a hole and hiding in it. but that's not right. i was so afraid to tell daddy that i wrote him a letter last night, and i kinda refused to wake up this morning, too afraid to see his reaction towards it :( so i woke up only after they left house. till now i don't really know what he thinks about it. sister told me he mumbled some words..but wasn't mad or what. i'm just scared :( :( the disappointment. the everything. uuugh:( shucks.
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hey SM! just wanna say that your post made my eyes watery cuz it reminds me of myself 2yrs ago. i also experienced the exact same thing. i got very lousy results for my ausmat and that morning i hesitated for like more than 20mins, trying to push myself walk out of the room n tell my dad. omg, i will never ever forget that moment and feeling. n he also didnt get angry about it.
but SM, trust me. this is not 100% a bad thing. this will become a history and ur future will become even better when u have got a historic event that u will rmb forever. :)
p/s: i even have tears rolling down when im typing this. lol. so u r not alone. :D
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