and for everything you do, just give it your best.

first day of what i presume to be the most different semester for me ever. and also my birthday. so overwhelmed with emotions tonight. chatting with heri and candy made me feel all energised again, like it's NOT impossible. just really got to do my best, so even if it doesn't turn out like what i expect it to be, there will be no regrets. and by doing my best, it means to aim for perfection all the time. in assignments, exams and every part of the course. the fact that i will not be last minute still hasn't really set in. but i know i really need to use a different studying approach or i'm gonna end up at the same sad place. sometimes i wonder if it's fate or what, for me to pick SIFE among all the clubs and societies, such that i'm given the chance to get to know some of the really awesome people. it was that one time i was actually really serious and determined about joining a club, remember myself registering at the booth alone (i usually wait for my friends, if they join i'll join, or else, forget about it). i'm glad that one time i made that decision to actually go sign up for it. and just now when i received a birthday message from nabilah, i can't believe it made me cry (been crying too easily lately eesh) it was such a simple message, but when i read it, it seems to contain a lot more than just the words that are showing. what a strange feeling. everything's been a lil crazy these days.

and so i was really hoping my dad wouldn't get angry with my lousy results. but when i saw his face that looked slightly disappointed, all he said was to hope that i really try my best this sem. it's like instead of scolding me, he continues to trust and put more hope in me. which is what makes me feel really really bad. 

let's turn this terrible feeling into something useful...extra motivation, extra determination, and extra of all the better things!




...but somehow somewhere somewhat, i'm really scared. :'(