Sometimes,

well it's really just the rare times, i can't help but to wonder why do i even bother? yesterday was kinda overwhelming, in many different ways. it was only until before i went to bed i realised my brother didn't have the house keys with him, so i waited for him to come home in front of the computer until close to 2am. and he saw me creating south park avatar for the five of us (had serious dilemma choosing the eyes, nose, mouth and hair for everyone though), it'll probably be inserted to the "group memebers" slide. shut the computer, went to bed and my mind started playing like a tape recorder with its 'pause' button missing. and the stupid eyes, it happened again. it's always when i'm lying on the bed at night, when everything around was in complete darkness and when it's so quiet i could only hear the air-cond blowing. just when i was trying very hard to stop myself from thinking, i felt a gentle nudge on my knee, and it was more than once. who else could it be other than my younger sister. yes, her stomach's aching again i knew it but i didn't know why. this recurring gastric thing comes on and off and it really really really hurts deep down under to see her in that kind of pain. i'm serious, when it's very painful she wouldn't even talk or want to do anything other than lying down and covering herself in blankets. and she actually went to bed so much earlier than me, four hours ago i think! knowing she didn't feel like talking cause it'll make it worse, i held up her hand and asked, "pain level 1 to 5, 5 most painful. what are you now?" and she slowly stick out one and a half finger. what a sigh of relief! i felt much much better seeing that so told her to quickly try to sleep. it was from then, i managed to divert to thinking about other stuff. and it goes on until i fell asleep without myself knowing. i'm so glad this morning my sister asked me, "imagine a seahorse singing with its sucker mouth, cute right..." hehe i knew she was all okay again! but wth, seahorse singing. back to yesterday, i'm sorry i couldn't join you all for tennis though i felt like going so badly. honestly, just talking with you on the phone elevated my mood from like zero to a hundred, i got all so hyped up. and yeah, i'm starting to feel it's so true we have to do the right thing to enrich our lives, to have a 充实 one. love those words. and equally amazing, how i wish i was there to see py's surprised face with what jeff has planned for her. it's just too sweet for a guy to have put in so much effort. you know, it's wonderful when people understands and appreciates your effort. all these while, maybe i was too naive. for the nth time, i reopened that email and read it again. but now i'm finding it rather meaningless. i wouldn't say anything at all was wasted because they do leave a very big impact on me. feelings are just to abstract i can never fully comprehend. siewming, regain yourself :)

i guess i've found an answer to my own question - because i feel real when i bother.

When the lights go out;

we'll be safe and sound,

we'll take control of the world,

like it's all we have to hold on to,

and we'll be a dream. 

wonders of the sky, so naturally beautiful. this is the view of the sun painting the sky orange from my house this evening. it was so beautiful my sister had to take a picture of it and i had to place it here, and this is without a single touch of editing.



am liking the song above at the moment. especially after the coincidence that happened with Dorie. this same song started playing on the radio in the car when we were on our way to Giza after having dinner together, and then again on our way to the airport another day we sent her off. :)

it's usually when we lose something we realise how much we are missing it. everyone's everywhere now hmm... seriously in need of inspirations to come out with ideas for the coming presentation and also something! ;) *think think think*
wth :'( it hurts.

i ...

now feel really really blessed with what i've been getting in my life so far.

my very supportive parents for always believing in me and never restricting my freedom as long as they know what i'm doing is good / right; and i just sayang my sisters & brother so much i cannot imagine how my life would be without any of them; then of course the people i've met along the way, whom have eventually became very dear friends to me.

you know, it's at one point i find myself growing very attached to these people and it slowly evolves into something like, when they're sad, i don't feel good, when they're stressed up, i feel tensed, and when they're happy, i feel the joy too that kinda thing!

and, i really want to thank youuu jie jie! for actually asking your colleague for the department organisation chart and stealing p&c info for me even though earlier on you said you wouldn't help me with those. it's like a total surprise for me, cause when i asked you didn't seem like you were able to help me. and i really thought you already forgotten about it completely! the feeling of receiving your mail few days after that was just awesome i felt touched for real! :)

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oh and yesterday when daddy was changing the bulb for our bathroom, i helped to shine the torchlight (it actually reminded me of climbing Broga! the same torchlight heh) cause it was very dark already. being quite useless there i started playing with what's on the ladder and found this unidentified round-white object which i thought was part of the light's socket. only until the end, my dad said "hey the lizards laid eggs in the light socket......." 

then it immediately hit me that what i was playing with earlier was a lizard egg yucks!! gross max -.-

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when i went wandering about in my brother's room the other day, i found this interesting calender-like daily mood thing :D

 the smileys inside are all formed using keyboard signs & symbols x)

and there's descriptions like this behind every page. the very common mood nowadays, emo :P

yesterday night was CRAZY with my younger sister! it's quite impossible to sleep early when we go to bed at the same time, sometimes i don't understand how we can get so lame, but i like it the way we are! "good monks gone wild" huh, LOL LMAO ROFL xD

today, i feel

have been thinking quite a bit about EVERYTHING. yeah :)

 and tomorrow, i shall, no, i MUST be

last two days of mid-sem break what is this. i need more break!! D:

whatever, can't wait to get all the assignments done. i enjoy the exhilaration i get when an assignment is done and over with :)

New discoveries! o_o

recently i've came to discover how katak di bawah tempurung i am. two things below i never knew before this:

#1 The chicken eggs we eat are mostly unfertilised, which means they won't actually hatch into little chicks. and i always thought if the eggs we buy are kept under the right temperature and all it WILL hatch, no i'm wrong!

#2 There are no lions in the forests / jungles in Malaysia. i reallyyyyyy didn't know! then those in Zoo Negara are imported lions? wow.

i'm fascinated by what & also how i found out about these, seriously!


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and this is a cute baby squirrel picture my sister found :D IF only the squirrels we have here are so cute!

oh yes, the tupaisss returned to visit Ador the next day itself. this time Ador was more alert though, keep watching them, but the squirrels don't seem to be afraid at all -.-

Tupai is baaaaack! :O

the weather was so nice after the rain :) was just telling mommy the rainy season seems to have ended cause it was all so sunny in the morning, and it started raining after that.

when i was in the living room, the corner of my eye suddenly spotted something brown and tiny dashing pass Ador's cage. out of curiosity i went to check out what it was just to realise that it was a TUPAI visiting Ador! :D

or more like stealing the remnants of Ador's food cause it was busy crawling about in the poopy tray underneath the cage. i quickly called my younger sister who's on free holidays to not interrupt the PMRers (looking back, PMR was really easy with all the ABC questions... now i hardly even see objective Qs) 

then we both got very engrossed in watching the tupai and all the more to see Ador's reaction when he sees the new buddy. but unfortunately for us, Ador was in such a sleepy mood (due to the nice weather i guess); fortunately for the tupai though, it can continue to savour whatever it's savouring. 

there!! the tupai! 

halfway watching, it ran away, then it came back, and went away, then came back for the second time! such a sneaky peaky squirrel i must say. and i still can't figure out what's so attractive for it. to be honest the tray contains not only tiny pieces of food that dropped down from the cage, but also a lot of poo and pee D:

the tupai needs a Jacuzzi bath!! 

standing tupai xD

Ador doesn't seem to care about his little friend -.-

 tupai attacking daddy's plant number 1...

and attack number 2! these tiny creatures are seriously agile... can climb jump fly everywhere with ease!

just when we thought there was only one tupai, we saw TWO of them! which makes it tupaissss yikes. i don't know if it's a good or bad thing, they might frequent Ador's territory since they seem to love it so much.

sister named the tupai after Sandy, the squirrel in Spongebob Squarepants x) the other one has no name, so it's called Sandy's friend. very the lame!

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if our beautiful earth happens to be over populated, i guess the new planet which is 20 light-years from here can share the burden? reading about the new planet got me curious of how big our universe really is, so i googled and found this pretty interesting. (and i suddenly remembered studying about the Solar System and Milky Way, science can be quite interesting huh)

it's funny though how we're so much bigger than the ants and at the same time so so so incomparable to the entire universe. okay, back to assignments!

Mid-sem break.

i've actually made plans for this whole week before the sem break was even here. scribbled so much on the calender about all the things i wish to do. well, it's mainly to catch up on studies, especially Management Accounting, and to study for AIS test, study Banking & Finance, then of course there are also funny things like sleep early, help mommy do housework, read newspaper....

out of all those, i only helped my mom with washing the dishes, read more newspaper than usual. the rest can be said undone. sometimes i'm really disappointed with myself, and i tend to feel stressed out when i see the amount of work piling up, but at the same time not doing what i'm supposed to be doing to make myself feel less stressed. something is wrong.

other than to catch up on studies, there are two main assignments to finish up this holiday - Banking & Finance and AIS. one thing i like about working for assignments in group is that i feel a lot more motivated. but i also feel pressured when my progress is not as fast as the others. 

my new best friends during the break~~ 

the first half of the semester seems to have passed by too quickly. i hope time slows downnnnn a little. or maybe i should say me myself should keep pace with time.

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anyways, Su Ann's very cute Lotso keychain reminds me of this picture! my only 3 seconds with Lotso cause it's not mine. aah, miss the strawberry smell on the bear x)

and i miss you too jyy yee, and huei-wen and calista too (haven't seen her for so long, i suddenly miss sitting next to her in class, rolling up her baju kurung sleeves, persuading her to go for krs....... :P) and many many other people! haven't been to qing xian's condo in a while already... and the 'bu jian bu san' outing with zhuxiao.... kept being postponed...


must make sure that the plans are put to action!

*and i realised another weird thing about myself, the more stressed i feel, the more i feel like doing nonsense stuff. for example, changing the blog layout when i could have been finding more info for the assignmentssssssss -.-